Right or wrong

Right is the opposite of wrong.
Right is the opposite of left.
Hence left is wrong and right is obviously right.
So what consequences does this have? The knowledge that left is wrong and opposite, that right is right. What is left and what is right?
It all depends on the point of view.

I would like to give you an example. When someone tells you that “You’ve got something between your teeth.” You ask: “Where?” They respond you: ”It’s on the left side.” “Ah.” you say and try to scrape it off. Nine out of ten times you choose the wrong side. Irrespective of whether the ‘little something’ is on the left or right side. It doesn’t help if they have tried to show you where it was either. It always goes wrong. In other words left.

The whole idea of left and right reminds me of a rather curious film I saw some years back. A film with Tom Waits and Roberto Benigni called ‘Down by law’. Roberto Benigni is that Italian guy from ‘La vita è bella’ for those who don’t know. And if you still don’t know who is, shame on you! Anyways, in the beginning of the film, which I seem to remember is in black and white, Benigni is marching alone along a fairly deserted road. He swings his arms back and forth and with every left footstep he chants: “Left, left. I left my job, but I was right.”

How can it be right for him to have left his job when we all now know that left is wrong?! It has been proven to be wrong!
In another scene later in the film Roberto is in prison and shouts: “I scream. You scream. We scream: Ice cream!” Not that it’s got anything to do with left or right…

Anyhow, there is more evidence that left is wrong! It’s an example from everyday life: driving. More specifically driving legislation. National driving legislations. We obviously all know that right side driving is much better than the silly left side driving that is frequently practiced in the UK. (And at this point the author just revealed that he is NOT from the little Isle of UK, but merely from abroad. From this peculiar place called Europe, of which the Isle of UK seemingly is not part of.) Sweden used to have left side driving too until sometime in the seventies. They eventually came to their senses and changed direction. Who would have thought that anyone did anything right in the seventies? After having changed direction they have never looked back since, or to the left or right either for that matters.
But then again, it all depends on the point of view.

At some point I was considering to write about how I was to write an article about right and wrong. How certain people who on Sundays are dressed in long black gowns have a rite for everything. At some point I even was going to mention Ian Wright. Just to lengthen the article! Then I reconsidered and figured out that it would just water out my whole article and my fabulous conclusion. I think it was the right decision that I left it out.